Excuses. We’ve all got ’em.
Since I happen to be a human, I frequently put roadblocks in my own way. Fortunately for me, I am aware I am doing it. And then (the hard part) I force myself to do something about it.
I have some big decisions to make. This blog being one of them.
So when was the last time I posted? Oh yes, November of last year. Hmmmmm…..That’s a beautiful pic, isn’t it? Well, you see, stuff got in the way. Work. School. Fun. Travel. Instagram. Etc.
Yes, I get it. Sometimes things take a back seat to other things. But scrolling shouldn’t count as one of those “other things.” So I freed myself from Instagram and then digging deeper, I found the real excuses:
- The thought of trying to kill myself to grow another blog/website was too much to deal with.
- See the comments section of anything on the internet. People are not nice.
But a lot has changed since that November post. I have found myself in a much different place than I was expecting. (Funny how that happens. Don’t get me wrong, though. I am still Braving the Wilderness.) Much to my dismay, however, the “plan” I had at that time wasn’t going down without a fight. To it’s last dying breath, actually.
Yet if I have learned anything through yoga it is that if we are truly living mindfully, we will take a step back during this struggle and ask why. And consider whether what we are doing is in alignment with who we are and will it get us closer to where we want to end up? If the answer is no, then S-T-O-P!
It’s not the fact that we have a plan that’s the issue; it’s the fact that it is not “our” plan. And we make excuses to continue doing this “plan.”
So STOP is what I did. Because the times I most regret in my life, the things that I have taken so long to forgive myself for, are the times when I didn’t stop. This time I was NOT going to create another load of regret for myself to carry. After all of the anxiety and sleepless nights, I summoned the courage to take a flying leap off the roller coaster. Even though I was at the Peak. The Culmination.
As I was free-falling, I was completely terrified that I would crash and burn, or even break a few bones, but you know what?! Here I am. No third-degree burns. Nothing’s broken.
I am A-OK.
Right at the moment before I leapt, I stopped to listen to what I was saying out loud to people. It was some version of I didn’t really want to do the plan, but I was just going to do it anyway because it’s what I was supposed to do. And if I didn’t go ahead do what I was supposed to do, I wouldn’t be able to get anywhere.
In reality, I actually had no idea who told me I was supposed to do this plan. Who put me on this roller coaster?!?
Through my years of studying Yoga and Montessori education, I have learned that these types of situations are the result of behaviors buried deep in our unconscious being. Yoga calls them the Samskaras, or the (negative) records that play over and over in our heads. Montessori discovered these are formed and firmly rooted during the first 6 years of life.
You see, people think that just because children can’t talk or they haven’t lived enough yet, they don’t understand what is going on around them. And even if they don’t, it doesn’t matter. They absorb everything and it becomes imprinted on their being. And, in the process, they are forming into the adult that will eventually enter society.
This is precisely what has made you who you are and has determined what you have done thus far. So when it comes to that imaginary voice inside your head, it formed a long time ago and it takes a lot of repeated effort to do something about it.
What I have learned (repeatedly) is that doing something just because “other people say so” never works out. In fact, the people who are the most successful in this world don’t participate in this.
Steve Jobs. Mark Zuckerberg. Oprah Winfrey. Jeff Bezos. Bill Gates. Tony Hsieh. Indra Nooyi. Richard Branson. Reed Hastings.
These humans radically changed the way things are done. And while you may agree or disagree with their outcomes, it is crystal clear that innovation and transformation are not the result of following conventional wisdom and making excuses for inaction.
In my case, I knew my intuition was screaming at me to stop listening to my ridiculous story. As strangle as it sounds, I had a vision that it wasn’t going to play out well. I just knew that I wanted a different path.
So back to this blog…..I guess I need to pick back up at Braving the Wilderness. Create a new fork in the road.
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